Ordering breakfast without speaking Spanish

Today I woke and found that the wifi was still off from late last night in my hotel room in Turrialba. I got  on one of the computers in the lobby and used an online free translation service to ask the attendant if the wifi would come back on in my room. He said yes after I read from the computer some Spanish words that I can only hope I pronounced correctly. It seems they turn off wifi at some point to the rooms so because it will come back on so  I decided to stay another day. At $20  a night I consider it a good deal. The room comes with a fan and bed and desk.The sinks here have no hot water but the showers do however my first shower I took at my house was a cold one because I wanted to make sure everyone was using these strange looking mini  heaters that connect directly to the showerhead with lots of wires. I remembered the advice about electricty and water and thought only my house had such a rig. Anyway the room will do. I asked the man where I could get eggs and coffee and he said some unintellible words and pointed way down the street. I went way down the street but saw no coffee place however there was a place a few feet away from the hotel that was a restaurant so I went back there. I sat down at the only available table which was in the sunlight and a nice woman came over and I said “no habla Spaniole” and she made a little smile which I am now interpreting to mean “you poor fool your in Costa Rica  and you can´t speak Spanish.” I told her I wanted eggs and cheese and coffee with lots of cream. I even made motions of a round egg and said cheese a couple of times. She gave me a vacant stare. An unattractive woman behind me started talking to help and I said “Do you speak English” and she mumbled something so I gave her my order.   She told the waitress , there was some mention of smashing the cheese,   which I thought meant your cheese will come combined with your eggs    and so  I waited. A few minutes pass and I get a cheese sandwich with tomato on it . It is fried with apparently lots of butter. It was actually quite good but I was trying to avoid carbs so as to maintain my slim appearance. The coffe was black. I asked for cream and she pòinted to sugar which I tasted to make sure it wasnt some sort of powdered cream.I asked another waitress making a motion of pouring cream  in the coffee and she returned with splenda which I inspected thinking maybe powdered cream was in it. I clarify with the lady behind me and she says they dont have any milk or cream here. Note to self: never come back here as I have to have cream in my coffee. I eat all the sandwich except much of the bread I leave, I ask for the bill saying “quantos valley” and the waitress says some number which is unintelligble to me. I gather a small 1000 colognes bill and some coins and think that it is probably enough as it was perhaps   3 dollars but on second thought I didnt want to offend them if it was too little, so I pulled out a 10,000 colognes bill (about $20). The younger waitress passed by and I waved the bill at her, she seemed to ignore me and I know a number of people were staring at me. At this point I thought maybe she thinks I think she is a prostitute because I am waiving a bill at her  and it is only worth $20  and maybe she  is highly offended that I want to rent her for that amount and besides she is just a waitress. I decide that I am being paranoid. I finally make eye contact with the other waitress and make a motion as if signing the bill and she comes over, takes my bill and returns with change. It seems about right but im not sure if tip is included or not so I leave a tip and exit with some feeling of discomfort. I am now considering finding a Spanish tutor. I can only guess what lunch will be like.


One thought on “Ordering breakfast without speaking Spanish

  1. jaja martin your funny and brave…i tell my mom wat u did i told her i would be to scared…imaging goin china not knowing a word in chinness… if u need anything feel free to call if u need translater 🙂

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